


Say Yes To The Mess

by linguamortua



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up, Cornelius Hickey Is His Own Warning, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linguamortua/pseuds/linguamortua
Summary: Thomas Jopson has the worst job in the world: he works in a bridal boutique. This would be bad enough, but his boyfriend has just turned down his third proposal so he’s feeling particularly fragile about the whole thing.His sort-of friend Hickey advises.
Relationships: Thomas Jopson/Lt Edward Little
Comments: 13
Kudos: 36
Collections: @terror_exe Flash Fest





	Say Yes To The Mess

**Author's Note:**

> 'I don't like to say that I hate things, hate is a very strong word, but my job makes me feel…' 

'Hateful?' 

‘I had a woman scream at me for seventeen minutes today because I couldn’t find her _the dress_. Seventeen. I watched the clock on the wall behind her.’ Tom stared gloomily into the depths of his beer. 'Weddings are supposed to be a sacrament of love and commitment.'

'And two thousand pound dresses?' 

'Oh, twice that at least for anything that doesn't look tacky,' Tom said automatically. 'And the veil, and the shoes, etcetera.'

'Tom,' said Hickey calmly, 'love is fake, actually, and the wedding-industrial complex is a scam.'

'I realise that I'm part of the problem but it's literally the closest I can get to using my degree. The job market isn't exactly awash in opportunities for people with a BA in fashion design, you know.'

'The higher education sector is also a scam,' Hickey supplied. 

'Thank you, Hickey, not all of us can blag our way into the C-suite of a start-up on the strength of our A-levels.'

'Is all this because Ned turned you down again?' 

'It's been five years!' Tom said, throwing up his hands. ‘How is he still _not sure_?’

'You can do better,' suggested Hickey. ‘Anyway, just because you can have a civil partnership now, doesn’t mean you have to.’

‘I want a wedding,’ said Tom fretfully. ‘Not a crazy one. Just a normal one.’

‘All weddings are inherently—’

Tom rested his forehead on the pub table for a moment and ignored the rest of Hickey’s sentence. The table was delightfully cool. He could feel Hickey’s weird, penetrating gaze on him. Tom had known the man for nearly ten years but he still wasn’t sure whether it was reasonable to call him a friend. He definitely wasn’t sympathetic in the conventional sense.

‘Could I do start-up stuff?’ Tom wondered aloud into the tabletop.

‘You’d be eaten alive,’ Hickey said. ‘You’re too nice. Ned walks all over you because you have no backbone.’

‘The whole point of a boyfriend is that they’re supposed to be nice to you,’ Tom said.

‘Wow,’ said Hickey. ‘This is tragic.’ He hitched his scrawny knees up and sat cross-legged on the bench, a bizarre little oracle dispensing his chaotic wisdom. ‘So did they die, or did they get divorced?’

‘Who?’

‘Your parents. I assume that’s why you’re like this.’

‘Okay, rude,’ said Tom. He took another pull of his beer and decided to exhibit moral character and backbone by not answering the question. In fact, his parents had divorced and then his mum had died, and his dad had dealt with it by never speaking of her again or attending her funeral. But none of that had anything to do with Ned.

‘Anyway, if you want a wedding we can just get married,’ said Hickey with a shrug.

Some of Tom’s beer dribbled out of his mouth. Hickey smiled at him with a lot of teeth, and his head cocked to one side like a butcher bird surveying its prey.

‘I don’t think Ned would appreciate that.’

‘Ned doesn’t appreciate _you_ ,’ Hickey pointed out. ‘He would break up with you and then you’d be free of this whole conundrum. It’s very logical.’

More and more, Tom was considering that he might be right about Ned's lack of appreciation. All the same, the concept of marrying Hickey was absurd. ‘The concept of marrying you is absurd,’ he said. ‘No offense.’

‘None taken. It’s a free country and you’re allowed to be wrong.’

‘This is a subjective preference, I can’t be _wrong_.’

Hickey sighed and pinched the narrow bridge of his nose. ‘It’s very hard talking to you sometimes,’ he said, which coincidentally was exactly how Tom felt, too.

‘Why would I marry you when I could just _break up with Ned_ —oh my God, I need to break up with Ned.’

‘If you do it right now,’ said Hickey, pouncing, ‘I’ll get you an interview with our customer service team lead. We need fresh meat for the helpdesk.’ He looked at their empty glasses. 'And I’ll get a round in.'

‘I thought you said I’d be eaten alive at a start-up.’

‘Oh, you will,’ said Hickey brightly, looking delighted by the prospect. ‘But even if it all goes tits-up, at least you won’t be getting yelled at by rampaging bridezillas.’

Tom took his phone out and put it on the table. He looked at it for a while. Break-ups were so awful. There’d be crying, and figuring out whose cookbooks were whose, and then there was flat-hunting and figuring out custody of Erebus the guinea pig. On the other hand, it would be over. Tom would never, ever again have to take the stupid ring out of his stupid pocket and look at Ned’s stupid face while he said no.

‘Can I have the beer first, please?’ he asked.

Hickey patted his shoulder. ‘That’s the spirit,’ he said. ‘Don’t think of it as breaking up with Ned, think of it as a practical investment in your future as an eligible single man.’

‘Five years,’ said Tom, watching Hickey sidle over to the bar. You built a life with someone in five years. He had tried to build a life with Ned. But in the end, he was single by the time Hickey got back with the beer.

Less time than it took to pick out a wedding dress.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I have written three modern Terror AUs about dramatic London queens! If you liked this one, the others are [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130931) and [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130796).


End file.
